Richard is kept in check by a combination of pills, ropes , and delicious pies. He has been a, Writer, A sculptor, a molder and once he thought he was a firefly but was disappointed when he found out that it was not true. in the future he plans on becoming a flying monkey and owning a hover board.

About the Author

The author of this book has not served time in a mental institution nor been convicted of any crime. He is simply a man who sits in his basement and thinks up crazy things. The author would like to make it clear that he has neither done, nor been a party to, most of the actives mentioned in this book. In addition; to those that have said that his brand of humor is “vile, disgusting, and destroying the fabric of America”, the author would like to say “Thanks Mom for all your love and support”.

 

In conclusion, the author also would like to state that he thanks each and every person who purchased this book for supporting his bizarre and off-beat brand of humor. To those who are just reading this while sitting in the book store drinking coffee (that he probably brought with him from home), please tell a friend who isn’t a cheap bastard about this book to purchase it.

…

 

Then borrow it and don’t return it so he has to get another.

 

From the Desk of,

 

Richard Moore (the author, whom often refers to himself in the third person)